How to Reframe Limiting Beliefs Associated with Chronic Illness
A guide to mindset shifts that transform mental and physical health
Limiting beliefs are one of the most powerful hooks that can keep you caught in the cycle of chronic illness | Photo from Pazargic Liviu on Shutterstock
Introduction
At a low point in my health early last year, my Dad suggested I see a therapist.
In the state I was in, the comment stung. After years of dismissive doctors and struggling to get my problems addressed, the suggestion of mental health support was not well-received.
I may have been dealing with anger, frustration, and anxiety, but I was confident that the roots of my problems were physical.
At least I was until I met Lisa. That’s when I realized there is no clear dividing line between physical and mental health since they operate as a feedback loop.
Lisa is a therapist and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) Master and on a friend’s recommendation, I decided to try a few sessions with her. In the very first one, as soon as she asked me what I was dealing with and what I hoped to get out of our work together, words tumbled out of my mouth that I’ll summarize here as:
“I’m halfway across the world hoping to start a new life, dealing with escalating arthritis symptoms and fatigue, and feeling at a record low of self-confidence and excitement about my future.”
As I shared the ups and downs of the past five years of my life, Lisa looked at me with a kind, open expression. When I finished, she neutrally reflected back to me what she had heard: “My body is damaged…I feel like a shadow of myself…I haven’t been able to trust anyone and have met a lot of bad doctors, so I have to heal myself.”
I nodded — the statements felt like facts to me. Lisa looked at me with kind concern and said, “Why don’t we see if we can find a different way of looking at things?”
And that’s how we began to reframe the beliefs I had once considered facts. Through our work, I realized that since beliefs are the foundation for emotional reactions — whether joy, anger, frustration, or anxiety —changing them paves the way for fresh emotions and responses to life.
As we worked together, we identified certain beliefs that kept me - and I believe many people - stuck in a loop of chronic illness. Reframing them not only improved my mental health dramatically, but transformed my physical health - inflammation died down and my most stubborn health issues finally began to heal.
Here are the key beliefs we addressed and how we reframed them:
#1. “My body is damaged”
One of the hardest parts of being diagnosed with arthritis was learning about the condition from doctors and online research. The terms “progressive” and “irreversible damage,” terrified me and left me with a huge sense of grief.
It hit me hardest when nodules appeared on my finger joints and the word “deformed” entered my mind. Even though I wouldn’t say it out loud, I felt like my body was permanently damaged and broken.
I’ve learned over time in those moments to remind myself: Even though I’m currently experiencing inflammation or joint pain, “My body is constantly healing itself.”
The word currently reminds me that my health has gone through many ups and downs — at some points more than it is now. My joints are actually more flexible than they were when I was first diagnosed with Lyme disease and as my doctor often reminds me, bones and joints are always shifting, adapting, and regenerating.
Despite any damage, the body is capable of healing itself and it is constantly doing so, recreating itself every seven years.
#2. “I don’t deserve complete health”
Though it remained unconscious for a long time, I realized this past year that I carried a deep association between illness and unworthiness - which I believe has deep roots in Western culture.
The belief revealed itself when I moved to Germany last year and began to struggle with a huge number of food allergies and severe chronic inflammation. Though I was dealing with an undiagnosed mold infection after a toxic mold exposure, I only knew that my body was struggling and that almost anything could set off inflammation: foods, stressors, bad weather.
For a long time, I fell into the habit of thinking that if I were only more careful with my diet, better at managing stress, and more positive, I would get well. In the same way many people believe if they are better they will be loved, I believed if I were better, I would be healed.
Underlying that belief was a more fundamental one: “I don’t deserve to be completely healthy as I am now.”
When I find that thought pattern returning, I remind myself, “I deserve to be completely healthy as I am right now.” It brings me peace and stops the cycle of beating myself up. It gives me the grace to accept that I don’t need to live impeccably to deserve health (or love or anything else for that matter).
#3. “I have to heal myself”
After many disappointments with doctors- the incompetent, the arrogant, and the expensive- I learned to advocate for myself. I recognized that the most important health choices were mine to make, not my doctors’.
Over time, this sense of empowered agency turned into a heavy sense of responsibility: “I have to heal myself — because I can’t trust anyone else.”
Depending on the circumstances, this belief can either feel empowering or debilitating. The more responsibility I took for my health, the more weight fell on my shoulders when something took a negative turn. When symptoms worsened or new issues emerged, my mind immediately spiraled into what I should have done.
As a friend pointed out, the belief “I have to heal myself,” is doomed to fail because I don’t have that power. The ability to heal rests with my body- I can only support it and choose the right medical support, but the rest is out of my hands.
Working with Lisa, I tried on a new belief in its place: “I can surrender and allow healing to occur.” Each time I say this phrase, a weight drops off my shoulders because I’m no longer getting in my own way. Whether I heal or not, I’m no longer on the hook for the outcome.
#4. “Healing is going to be hard”
On days when I wake up to inflammation and exhaustion, a voice in my head says, “how much longer will we have to go through this?” Unfortunately, I don’t know the answer. Maybe I’ll feel better this year, maybe healing is something I’ll be practicing my entire life.
When I think in those terms, I become even more exhausted. Because the past four years of healing have been financially, emotionally, and psychologically draining. The prospect of continuing it is draining in and of itself.
But there is one upside that becomes more obvious as time goes on: healing has also taught me so much.
It has taught me about nutrition and led me to become a Nutritional Therapist through the NTA. It’s shown me how deep the relationship between my skin, liver, and gut health are. It’s taught me about the interplay between heavy metals, mold, and chronic Lyme — even if this one has been a major pain.
When I examine how many areas of my life — diet, fitness, relationships, mental health routine — healing has forced me to evolve, I’m amazed. I’m able to shift the belief from “healing is going to be hard” to “Healing is teaching me so much.”
So even if it lasts a bit longer, I’ll consider it a personal PhD in my physical and emotional health. And as my doctor encouraged me whenever a new challenge arises: let your first response to it be “how interesting!”
#5. “I’m not as good as I used to be”
Sometimes my mind goes back to memories of college. I spent so many evenings tearing through Philadelphia with friends, bursting with energy. I played harp at parties and remember the feeling of my fingers flowing over the strings as I soaked up the mood around me.
At that time I had a deep confidence and certainty that life was an adventure waiting for me, filled with potential.
I can still feel the joy, excitement, and even the vague sensations of my fingers flying over strings when I tap into those memories- but they also bring intense grief. I miss having boundless energy to explore, playing beautiful music, and feeling my body express itself so naturally. At the root of my grief, I miss my old joy and happiness.
Working with Lisa, I’ve learned to remind myself that in all of those memories, joy and happiness didn’t come from playing harp or being in college in Philly. Those things may have been triggers, but the joy and happiness came from- and are still within- me. A little dormant, maybe, but waiting for new moments to show up.
Until I find new ways to bring out my happiness, I remind myself it’s still there like a blue sky behind clouds. And that’s okay. Whether I’m bursting with happiness or going through a long season where it’s dormant, the belief I’ve decided to practice is: “No matter how I show up in the world, I’m always enough.”
#6. “I’m limited compared to other people”
Sometime in early December when my health was at a low point, I called my parents to chat. My Mom answered and her voice was bubbly and excited: she had just spoken to my brother and his company was growing like crazy. She made a joke about what he would do after he made his first million.
After a few minutes, she asked how I was doing.
I wanted to be happy, but at that moment, I didn’t have it in me and simply said:
“Good for him. To be completely honest, I’m just trying to stay afloat today. I can barely use my hands.”
A few days later my brother called to check-in. When I shared what was going on, he said something I didn’t expect:
“I’m really sorry to hear what you’re going through, that sounds awful. But do you realize that you have something every business person wants?”
That caught my attention.
”You’ve identified a real problem. Most entrepreneurs spend years looking for a good problem and lots of them don’t find one, so they focus their energy on creating things like sweaters for animals or new payment systems. You’ve had firsthand experience of the medical systems in two countries, all of the things that don’t work, and all of the misinformation and frustration it causes. You’ve really struggled with something that affects a lot of people, and that will give you a purpose and inform whatever else you want to do with your life.”
How he managed to spin my health situation into a business advantage, I don’t know, but I really appreciate that he did.
On a broader level, he showed me that whatever challenges I currently consider limitations are what someone else would consider the perfect fodder for future work. And the more I reflected on it, the more I realized that those challenges have also brought certain gifts — discipline, patience, and some hard-earned self-love (still in the works).
So rather than seeing myself as limited, I’m learning to believe: “I have different challenges and gifts than other people.”
#7. “I have an illness”
Finally, one of the most eye-opening lessons I received on the power of beliefs to influence healing was when I attended a Lyme disease support Meetup shortly after being diagnosed.
I went in expecting to meet a group of people sharing treatment advice and healing guidance, but instead I found a group of people bonding over their diagnosis. They spent most of the meeting commiserating about shared exhaustion and suffering, with one informing me, “This is what it’s like to be a Lymie.” Those in the group were no longer actively trying to get well, but had long ago accepted the identity of being Lyme disease patients.
The experience showed me how illness can take over someone’s social life, story, and identity.
I made the decision at that point not to identify with an illness or as having an illness- unless I’m speaking with a doctor and need to find a common medical language. Rather than using the phrase “I have Lyme disease” or “I have arthritis,” I choose to think, “I’m healthy and strong, even if my body is currently experiencing joint pain, ” or “I’m healthy and strong, even if I’m experiencing an infection.”
I’ve found there is huge power in reminding yourself that you’re healthy and strong, even while acknowledging what you’re going through and how it’s affecting you.
