8 Mindset Shifts for Hormonal Balance
After spending much of my 20s in a state of hormonal chaos and adrenal fatigue (aka. Burnout or “HPA axis dysfunction”), it’s one of my favorite topics to help other women work through. On one hand, the physiological causes are often easy to pinpoint: imbalanced blood sugar, stress, and impaired elimination. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out how I hit burnout at age 25 living in New York City: I was chugging espressos as if they were water, ignoring exhaustion signals from my body, and rushing from place to place. Yet it took many years for me to fully heal because the root causes were more fundamental: my mindset, limiting beliefs, and habits. These organized the invisible framework of my life and until I honestly evaluated my values and priorities, I wasn’t able to change them.
What I want to share with other women is the set of mindset shifts and practices that helped me change. What I’m most proud of today is that at age 31, I’m accounting for my energy in the way I do my money. I keep track of where it goes, why, and at the end of the day, I make sure that the overall balance is positive - as often as I can, at least. Here are the fundamental shifts that helped me heal my hormones and gain back my energy and joy.
#1. Check in with your body first
For most of my life, the act of starting my day began with physically prying my body out of bed. I threw on clothing, brushed my teeth, and grabbed a coffee to jolt my body to life before work. As I began to prioritize self-care, I decided to try something different: to scan my body and notice its sensations and needs before starting the day. Some days, it is stiff and so I stretch, or it’s tense and I take a few deep breaths with my hand on my heart until it calms down, or it’s so energized that I start the day without any caffeine. The simple act of checking with my body before I do anything else has transformed my mornings because I’m able to physically prepare for my day, meaning that by the time I start work, I’m as grounded, happy, and relaxed as possible.
Practice: When you wake up, check in with how your body feels (e.g. stiff, stressed, playful, etc). What does it need for you to feel your best as you start your day?
#2. Set your top priorities and make space for them
One of the most common behavior patterns behind burnout is trying to do too much in too many areas of your life. A clear sign of this is if you feel like you’re running on empty throughout the day, unable to give your full energy to any one activity. If this is you, take a moment and reflect on the top 2-3 priorities in your life at this moment and what you need to do to make space for them. In my own life, making time for health work, music, and my relationship meant giving up dance classes and many late night events, but the focus and calm I gained in return made it worth it.
Practice: Take stock of the 2-3 top priorities in your life and what you can let go of to make more space for them.
#3. Plan pleasure & rewards
What are you most looking forward to today or this week? If your schedule revolves exclusively around work or helping others, life can feel thankless. Luckily, you have the power to treat yourself. In my own case, I often work in 2 hour blocks and then plan treats, such as dance breaks or bike rides to a nearby lake where I can rest under pine trees. The mindset shift for many people is to realize that breaks do not take time away from work - they give you the energy and creativity to do your best when you return.
Practice: When you complete work or an important project, how will you reward yourself? What can you look forward to today?
#4. Practice Energy Accounting
A few days ago, I noticed I was drained by mid-afternoon without knowing why. As I reviewed my day, I realized I had gotten frustrated by a delay at work and gotten into a negative funk for a few hours. At the same time, I had a call scheduled later that evening with a friend who always makes me laugh and lifts me up. Energy accounting is similar to setting a budget for your finances and is fundamental to staying healthy. It means checking in with yourself through the day and noticing whether you are losing or gaining energy in various situations - and using what you notice to shape your choices going forward.
Practice: Check in with yourself throughout the day and notice when/where/with whom you are gaining and losing energy. Based on what you observe, what would you do differently?
#5. Define womanhood and success on your own terms
One of the greatest sources of stress in modern society is the pressure to achieve someone else’s definition of success. Whether that’s making a certain income, weight, youthfulness, or job position, you often strive for something that doesn’t bring fulfillment.
It wasn’t until I was 30 years old that I realized I was living by my parents’ definition of success rather than my own. As I peeled back the layers, I discovered that even my views of womanhood and sexuality - how a woman should behave, what’s acceptable - were inherited from my Mom. The journey of separating my values from my family’s and discovering how much freedom of self-definition I have has been exciting and joyful.
Practice: What does success mean to you? If you have trouble answering, think back to the times when you’ve been most proud of yourself and felt the greatest sense of personal fulfillment - these are your hints.
What type of woman (or man) are you excited about becoming? Get particular - reflect on your style, what brings you pleasure and fun, how you would describe your sexuality, and when you feel most feminine and powerful.
#6. Create for the sake of creating
Creativity and art are some of the greatest natural pleasures and therapies - yet most adults decide they are not worth the time or that they “don’t have any talent.” My brother is an artist who once shared: “when you go to create, you’re meeting the muse. Whether you create something amazing isn’t the point - you’re there to enjoy the process of creating.” In my own life, I’ve learned to make time to meet the muse.
Practice: How often do you make time for yourself to create? If not very often, choose an artistic area you are interested in and take the first step, whether it’s dancing in your room, playing piano, or writing in a cafe.
#7. Count your wins
One of the quick routes to burnout is the feeling that you’re not doing enough or moving forward. Sometimes our biggest goals and journeys take months or years and we can lose heart midway through. When that happens, start counting your wins: ways you moved forward, small acts of courage, friends who lifted you up, or even choices in your mind. The more you can focus your attention on the wins, the more energized you’ll be to keep climbing.
Practice: How are you winning in your life right now? See if you can keep a daily list and track what’s working and so you can acknowledge each step forward.
#8. Bring your power to the present
While watching an interview with writer and medical intuitive Caroline Myss, I was struck by one of her messages: the ancient practice of “calling back your soul” is really about calling your energy back to the present. For many of us, our energy is still locked up in memories that bring up grief, anger, disappointment, or other draining emotions. Calling your energy back means excavating your memory for the memories that still grip with you with emotion and then asking yourself what you need to do to learn from and make peace with them. Myss suggests using the phrase, “I appreciate this experience because…,” which forces you to look for the lesson or good in something that has happened.
Practice: Do a quick scan of your life and look for the memories that animate you emotionally - with grief, frustration, anger, sadness, or any draining emotion - and ask yourself what you learned from them and how you can make peace with them.
Want to dive deeper on balancing your hormones?
Join us for the virtual workshop “Dancing with your Hormones” on Sunday August 25 to learn how to optimize your hormones for more vitality, confidence, and beauty 💃
